Most often when people talk about aggression they are talking about how bad or wrong it is. In general aggression is defined as “behavior that is intended to harm another individual.” (kassin) While this definition definitely makes aggression sound bad or even evil, it doesn't have to be that way. Everybody has aggressors in their lives and everybody will experience aggression. It stems from emotions, and those emotions can tell us important things about ourselves if we can notice when we are feeling aggressive and respond appropriately. The struggle really lies in people learning how to rid themselves of these feelings in a non-destructive way.
Types of Aggression
There exists many different ways with which to classify aggression but the two that I will discuss are proactive and reactive aggression. Proactive aggression is “aggression in which harm is inflicted as a means to a desired end … aimed at harming someone for personal gain, attention, or even self-defense” (Kassin). This is the aggression with intent, if the aggressor sees any simpler way to achieve their goal they will take it. This is the type of aggression that is easier to avoid because in most cases it is planned. It requires thought and this leaves the aggressor time to catch themselves and figure out a better way to release any pent up emotions. On the other hand we have reactive/emotional aggression, this is “often impulsive, carried out in the heat of the moment” (Kassin). Reactive aggression is harder to get under control because it doesn’t require much, if any, thought. The damage could already be done by the time the aggressor realises how they are feeling. The best way to limit reactive aggression in your own life is to limit or control your proactive aggression, try to train yourself out of the impulsive aggressive reactions.
Recognizing Aggressive Feelings
It takes time and energy to notice when you are becoming aggressive and to correct or diffuse those feelings. Knowing how aggression affects different types of people can vastly improve one's ability to recognize aggression in themselves.
When considering the differences in aggressive tendencies across cultural boundaries it can be seen that people in individualistic cultures are quicker to aggression than those in collectivist cultures. This can be somewhat explained by the very definitions of individualist and collectivist cultures. Individualist culture emphasizes independence and collectivist culture emphasizes cooperation. Because individualists aren’t as worried about staying away from conflict they will be more likely to stir the hornet’s nest and act outwardly aggressive to get their way.
There are also some reported differences in aggression between men and women. “In meta-analyses involving hundreds of samples from numerous countries, John Archer (2004) and Noel Card and his colleagues (2008) found that males are consistently more physically aggressive than females. … Females were as likely to feel anger as males, but they were much less likely to act on their anger in aggressive ways.” (kassin). This does not mean that men are always more aggressive than women. Women tend to be more relationally aggressive, this type of aggression “particularly targets a person’s relationships and social status, such as by threatening to end a friendship, engaging in gossip and backbiting, and trying to get others to dislike the target.” (kassin). It’s not quite clear what causes these differences between men and women, some speculate that it is because women care more about intimacy or relationships, while others look at the differences in the way that boys and girls are brought up. Boys are typically encouraged to be more aggressive than girls are.
It is also the case that there are individual differences person to person in levels of aggression. Researchers have concluded that the following personality traits lead to more aggression: not being very agreeable, being very neurotic but not very open, high emotional susceptibility, a Type A personality, high impulsivity, narcissism, and poor self-control. It is important to note these things about yourself so that you can manage your anger and be able to react non-aggressively when provoked.
All of the above differences in aggression can be used to help you figure out how aggressive you are/can be, they of course won’t be perfect, but they will lead you in the right direction. You can also participate in quizzes like the Buss-Perry Aggression Questionnaire to find out how aggressive you are. Noticing when or why you get aggressive is the first step in minimizing your aggressive behaviors.
Healthy Alternatives to Aggressive Behaviors
One of the biggest ways to avoid aggression is to not let negative emotions fester within you, try to find a therapeutic activity to help you. This could mean exercising, talking to a licensed therapist, confiding in close friends/family, taking on a hobby, learning some breathing exercises, etc.. It is important that you don’t ignore the feelings, you want to be self-aware enough to figure out the root of your problem and do something about it. It is also a good practice to pause for a moment if you feel like you might explode, take some time - maybe remove yourself from the situation - before you make any rash decisions that you could potentially regret later. Try not to let reactive aggression overpower you. Something that a lot of people find useful in stressful situations is making pros and cons lists.
References
6 Ways the Most Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Anger. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201709/6-ways-the-most-emotionally-intelligent-people-handle-anger
Buss Perry Aggression Questionnaire. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://psychology-tools.com/test/buss-perry-aggression-questionnaire
Kassin, S. M., Fein, S., & Markus, H. R. (2017). Social psychology (10th ed.). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.
On aggression: Seven healthy ways to use your aggressive feelings. (2014, July 11). Retrieved from http://www.psychedinsanfrancisco.com/on-aggression/
It is also the case that there are individual differences person to person in levels of aggression. Researchers have concluded that the following personality traits lead to more aggression: not being very agreeable, being very neurotic but not very open, high emotional susceptibility, a Type A personality, high impulsivity, narcissism, and poor self-control. It is important to note these things about yourself so that you can manage your anger and be able to react non-aggressively when provoked.
All of the above differences in aggression can be used to help you figure out how aggressive you are/can be, they of course won’t be perfect, but they will lead you in the right direction. You can also participate in quizzes like the Buss-Perry Aggression Questionnaire to find out how aggressive you are. Noticing when or why you get aggressive is the first step in minimizing your aggressive behaviors.
Healthy Alternatives to Aggressive Behaviors
One of the biggest ways to avoid aggression is to not let negative emotions fester within you, try to find a therapeutic activity to help you. This could mean exercising, talking to a licensed therapist, confiding in close friends/family, taking on a hobby, learning some breathing exercises, etc.. It is important that you don’t ignore the feelings, you want to be self-aware enough to figure out the root of your problem and do something about it. It is also a good practice to pause for a moment if you feel like you might explode, take some time - maybe remove yourself from the situation - before you make any rash decisions that you could potentially regret later. Try not to let reactive aggression overpower you. Something that a lot of people find useful in stressful situations is making pros and cons lists.
What do you think makes some people more aggressive than others?
How do you manage your own aggression?
Do you think there was anything I missed?
Be sure to share your opinion below.
References
6 Ways the Most Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Anger. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201709/6-ways-the-most-emotionally-intelligent-people-handle-anger
Buss Perry Aggression Questionnaire. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://psychology-tools.com/test/buss-perry-aggression-questionnaire
Kassin, S. M., Fein, S., & Markus, H. R. (2017). Social psychology (10th ed.). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.
On aggression: Seven healthy ways to use your aggressive feelings. (2014, July 11). Retrieved from http://www.psychedinsanfrancisco.com/on-aggression/
Nice Blog! As I read about controlling your aggression I though of situations where having aggression towards others is seen as normal, for example competitive fighting (UFC, MMA, etc..) However, As I though about it more the best fighters are those that are able to control their aggression towards their opponents. (To remain calm and in control of the situation).
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, I've always tried to live by the saying "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" James 1:9 (NIV). Its not just good advice but also sets a good example to those around you.
Love this point you made about how violence is a form of entertainment for people. Seeing individuals cause harm to each other is a very common way for people around the world to enjoy themselves and that is a major issue. I also liked your quote from the Bible. It goes back to the simple saying of treat other how you would like to be treated. There is no reason to act aggressively toward someone if you wouldn't want the same in return.
DeleteKirsten, the simple act of talking your way through aggression is not only the most simple form to reduce anger but the most effective. Venting is a very important way for people to figure out why they feel angry and how to actually get over whatever is causing their anger so thank you for pointing that out.
I agree, that is very good advice!
DeleteThank you for the good read Kristin. To answer your questions, I think the majority of people's aggression come from their upbringing and psychology. I think that generally makes up the most of one's aggression but certainly there are outliers in that generalization. From personal experience, I release aggression while exercising and this helps me manage it quite well. If I am unable to exercise, I think about the context of the situation, why the person said/did what they did, and that too usually helps me resolve aggression.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you do to manage your aggression Kristin?
I totally agree that how aggressive people are can really come from the environment someone grew up in. As a kid, you look up to the adults in your life and replicate the ways in which they act. If someone grew up in an environment were a family member got angry, they might see this as the proper way to handle certain situations. It's like that bobo doll experiment we saw in class. If we see people we look up to act more aggressively as a child, we are more likely to do the same when put in the same circumstance. Like you, I also like to exercise in some way to work off any aggression I might have. I usually like to go for a run in order to have some alone time to cool off.
DeleteI always turn to my hobby's (knitting and reading) when I feel not just aggressive but any overwhelming feelings. Thanks for asking!
DeleteThat is a good idea to have a few activities to reduce stress or to resort to when feeling agitated. helps prevent a situation from escalating to something much worse/retaliating.
DeleteThis was an excellent read! I really liked how you added the questionnaire it was a nice touch. I agree with what Jason said above I think some of our bad habits on aggression come from our upbringing because these same people are teaching you how to deal with your anger especially at young ages. I luckily don't get angry very often and when I do I'm pretty non confrontational so I just remove myself from the situation like you mentioned above. Then from there I kind of think about the situation, so why I'm so mad and maybe why I shouldn't be this helps me cool down.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I probably could've doubled the length of my post if I had added information on learned aggression. I don't really know how i completely missed it, but it is definitely important.
DeleteNice post, dude! I personally have trouble managing my aggression when I'm burned out. (To everyone who doesn't know us, I'm her roommate) I don't know if you've noticed ever but like two weeks before every break I tend to feel aggressive at the slightest provocation. When I'm at home, I'm more likely to act on my aggression, which is bad. I'm still looking for ways to constructively deal with that aggression unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed, lol. I've also noticed the same thing in myself about being more aggressive at home, i think that its easier to not think about your actions when you are surrounded by family.
DeleteI don't want to 'tute' my own horn but I don't think I get aggressive very often. Maybe it's from doing Taekwondo and knowing I'm responsible for representing the club, at least in the back of my mind. Though, I think I may have been more aggressive when I was younger. I don't think I've ever hit someone or started rumors about someone out of anger but I've certainly yelled at people and pulled/pushed people to get them to stop. It was typically only due to provocation, like being shoved between chairs and people destroying my snow sculptures (middle school bullying, am I right?). Though one thing that I've been doing for a while is that I'll start thinking about something that'll make me angry, hypothetical scenarios where someone's about to attack one of my friends or having a heated argument with someone. It typically ends when I 'twitch', like a hand or leg jerking thinking about a punch or a kick as if I'm in the middle of a dream, which pulls me back to reality. It's a very weird experience and I wonder how it influences how aggressive I am.
DeleteThis post is extremely well written. The first paragraph really got my attention! I liked the way that you explained that aggression is always thought out to be such a bad concept to think about and act on. I think that being aggressive can be a good thing in certain situations, especially emotionally. I also believe that aggression can make us act appropriately to situations and they do not necessarily have to be in a violent manner like a lot of people tend to think.
ReplyDeleteVery informative post! I really liked how you used this blog post to provide some helpful information on how to deal with aggression. You mentioned that noticing your own aggression is the first step to dealing with it and I think this post was a great way to start to inform people about how to notice aggression in themselves. When I think about aggression my mind first goes to violence and physical aggression, completely forgetting about other types of aggression. I think it can be very helpful to keep in mind how aggression can be acted upon in order to stop yourself from being aggressive.
ReplyDeleteI agree that its easy to forget about aggression when it isn't overt and physical.
DeleteYour article had a *very* useful piece of advice, and that is noticing your own feelings, and how you might be becoming aggressive. Sometimes we may like to believe that it's just how we're supposed to feel, or that it's the justified response, even when it's ultimately just the opposite, and we're letting our emotions control us.
ReplyDeleteI think there are many things that could go into making someone aggressive. Personally in my own bouts with aggression it had a lot to do with my up bringing. I think the cycle of aggression is a very real thing as children often times model their parents or adults in their lives ways or methods of dealing with day to day life. As for me a lot of upsetting situations were dealt with through aggressive tendencies and it took a lot from myself and my own awareness to break away from those things. Overall interesting article, I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDelete